Don’t Panic
I (almost?) suffered an anxiety attack today.
I awoke this morning to the news that some of the pipes in my building had frozen over night. Vancouver is experiencing a terrible cold snap – and the 1912 house my apartment is in was not built to withstand such temperatures. My neighbors upstairs had to defrost their pipes with a hairdryer in order to shower this morning. Luckily, my kitchen sink and bathtub still worked – but my bathroom sink and toilet did not (I grew up in the country – I lived through Ice Storm ‘96 – I can handle baling water from the tub into the toilet). I wasn’t sure how seriously I should take something like the pipes freezing, so I called my uncle. He insisted that I get my butt down to the Canadian Tire on Cambie to get myself some space heaters to 1.) melt the ice in the pipes, and 2.) keep my apartment warm (I had been freezing for the last week – though, freezing *in* my apartment makes the situation faced by the homeless in this city even more devastating – if that’s possible – than usual).
Having stayed in my apartment for the most part of the previous two days, I was feeling a little shut-in, too attached to the puppy, and not wanting to leave. But, my uncle insisted. And I like him, so I tend to do what he tells me to – and anyone who knows me knows that I hate being told what to do. Anyway, I got on the bus, convinced the entire ride that when I got there, there wouldn’t be any space heaters available – after all, I’m not the only one freezing in this city. I did not want to leave my house; I did not want to go out in public; I did NOT want to go to a place where people would be Christmas shopping.
When I managed to find a salesperson, I practically attacked him, forcefully demanding: “Where might I find a space heater???” I half expected to be ignored – thankfully, he gave me an aisle number and kept walking. As expected, the aisle had been picked pretty clear, but I managed to climb the shelves to reach two small heaters and made a B-line for the front cash.
When I got to the front cash, I got stuck in line behind a couple who decided to try the self-check-out, rather than wait in line for a cashier. … they couldn’t figure it out and managed to set the red light off to call an associate. The check-out next to them “out of service”. So, I moved over to the next self-check-out line … and that guy also could not figure it out and managed to set the red associate light off. Fed up, I joined a cashier line.
I was sighing pretty loudly (I guess, because I had my headphones in trying to drown out the people around me – an agoraphobia coping technique), and I guess I looked like I was either about to scream or cry, or both. The gentleman ahead of me turned around and started some small chat … turns out he has been kept busy these last few days with frozen pipes and broken heating, because he works for a rental property company … and, he has family back home … in Ottawa. That man didn’t know it at the time, but he saved me from a full-blown anxiety attack – I was about a millisecond away from dropping everything and running out of store before he started talking to me.
Finally, I paid for my heaters and got the heck out of dodge. Back up to the bus stop I sat … and almost lost it. I started texting my friend S and thankfully looking forward to her text replies was enough to distract me from the cold, wanting to cry, and when I got on the bus, from the people packed around me like sardines.
Four-and-a-half hours later, the water in the bathroom started running again.
Now that that’s fixed, I’ve gotta figure out what to do about the anxiety.
“Don’t Panic” – by Coldplay, from the album “Parachutes”.
