Where on Earth do I start? Well, I guess in Vancouver, where my latest adventure began. It took me 15 months living as a resident of British Columbia before I finally made my way over to Vancouver Island. I might forget some of the details, as I did a lot of living this weekend – but I’ll do my best.
Friday: Early in the morning, I hopped aboard the Canada Line to Bridgeport station and then Route 620 to the Tsawwassen ferry terminal. There was a special ten o’clock sailing this Friday – and, as it was not a regularly scheduled sailing, it was nicely deserted … well, from my perspective, not BC Ferries’ I’m sure. An hour and 35 minutes later, after some sunshine and showers we docked at Swartz Bay. This was as far as I managed to set foot the last time I took the ferry. This time I was determined to make the most of the transit time. An additional hour of bus travel finally brought me to downtown Victoria.
I was visiting my friend Leo, who recently relocated to Victoria from Ottawa. As he had to work until the end of the day, I was left on my own to explore for a little. I walked around the British Columbia legislature buildings taking photos, where preparations were underway for the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall’s visit to the city. Next, I treated myself to a visit to the Royal BC Museum – Growing up in the Nation’s Capital, I didn’t realize that not many other cities in our country could boast the museums we have at our disposal in Ottawa. Vancouver museums have proven to be a disappointment. But, the Royal BC Museum exceeded both my lowest AND highest expectations. It is a beautiful treasure of the city and my only complaint is that it’s exhibit halls are not larger. After that, I walked over to The Empress Hotel and beyond amongst the stunning architecture which graces the various streets of downtown. Shortly thereafter, I rendez-vous’d w/ Leo and we did some driving in his fancy new sports car. We did some sightseeing around the shoreline, visited Gyro Park, the bunnies at the University of Victoria, and then went back to his apartment so I could drop my stuff. For dinner, we made our way down to Chinatown (the oldest in Canada) and explored the shops, alleys, and eventually ate at the Fan Tan Cafe – which we both highly recommend for both taste and value.
Saturday: I might skim over the details – TRUST ME, the day was memorable. We took the Trans Canada Highway north to Goldstream Provincial Park where our visit coincided with the return of the spawning salmon. If you’ve never observed this in person, you’ve got to get out to see it for yourself – this amazing natural phenomenon is a powerful reminder of the preciousness of life and how lucky we are to be amidst such supernatural surroundings. Next, we drove up to the summit of the Malahat – just in time for the clouds to clear, exposing on of the most majestic vistas I’ve had the opportunity observe with my own eyes. On the way back we stopped at an adorable glass blowing studio – BGS Glass Blowing – the owners/operators are incredibly friendly and talented people. Back in the Victoria area, we next headed westward on our way to China Beach – part of the Juan de Fuca Provincial Park. The drive was scenic and the beach was nothing short of spectacular. Surfers dotted the shoreline and it was an amazing sight to observe. Somehow, the alternating sunshine and rain didn’t dampen the day and we even drove with the top down some of the time – warming up with some Serious Coffee. Back home we changed into comfy clothes and hunkered down with Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail.
Somehow, I summoned the energy to go out later Saturday evening with someone special for some sight-seeing around the city – From the twinkling lights of Victoria as seen by from above atop Mount Tolmie to those adorning the legislature building, the sights were nothing short of stunning. We stopped at lookouts whilst weaving our way through the various neighborhoods which make up Victoria and settling at the Spinnakers Brew Pub to sample some of their in-house microbrews. Completely unrelated to Victoria in any way, we watched Fanboys – if you’re even the slightest bit into Star Wars (as we are) you will love this film.
Sunday: We kept it local. We at brunch at Mole downtown and then walked around downtown until the shops opened. My favourite stops were Silk Road tea store (where I bought some tasty Japanese Sour Cherry green tea) and some hole in the wall Chinese bakery that sold Red-bean cakes (or sesame balls, if that makes more sense to you). Then it was back to the mainland via the ferry, bus, and train.
I fell in love with The Island this weekend. My only regret is that I hadn’t visited sooner. From the architecture that adorns Victoria to the wilderness out of which the city and others were cut, history – both human and natural – is everywhere … it’s no wonder I felt right at home. But, it’s not all about the past – I foresee many opportunities to make new memories, as well. Can’t wait until my next visit. :)
~ Weak in the Knees, Serena Ryder
I propose a new approach …
Perhaps for a while I will simply post about things that make me feel happy.
Not pretending that I feel positive when I don’t but, rather, a sort of “These are a few of my favourite things … ” list to help pep me up when I’m feeling not-so-chipper. I have actually started a similar list which I keep affixed to my refridgerator door - sort of like instructions of things to do to attempt to pull myself out of my perpetual rut. I think this alternate format will be taking over regularly scheduled programming for the forseeable future.
So, let’s start with something silly – shall we?
I was talking to someone on the telephone (oh yes, I have a LAND-line with unlimited long-distance) the other night and we somehow got onto the topic of Leonard Nimoy. You see, I have geek tendencies which I have tried to hide for pretty much my entire life – but this new person suffers the same affliction, and thus, we both get a kick out of sharing the geek-speak. Anyway, Leonard Nimoy …
Did you know that back in the 70’s both Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner recorded albums?* This is something my new friend has exposed me to – I’m not quite sure whether I should be ecstatic or terrified that not only did this person think I’d get a kick out of this, but he also thought right. Nimoy actually sang but Shatner was a bit more beatnik – which, if you’re familiar with Shatner’s halting-style-of-talking, suits him to a t.
I spent a lot of last night sitting on the couch, watching these videos on youtube, and laughing hysterically.
Hope these give you a giggle, too. 
* There is a combined best-of Nimoy/Shatner album available on iTunes, appropriately titled “Spaced Out” … and I’m tempted.
From: http://www.numinous.ca/Webcam%20Page.htm
~ Moondance, Van Morrison
I was reading someone’s blog post at 6 am this morning, just as the day was dawning over Vancouver. She mentioned that the last two years of October/November had been difficult for her. I identified with that. November is predictably difficult for me, year after year after year. I seem to suffer more bouts of depression in this month than any other – although, it might appear that I am consistently depressed throughout the year to the outside observer. There’s something about November. Perhaps it’s the cold, or the darkness, or the decrease in social interaction because everyone experiences the impulse to hibernate. Seasonal Affective Disorder? Hard to say.
But, I think being able to identify this as a difficult time period is probably a helpful thing to do. Because, if I reflect back upon years past, not only can I identify November as a difficult period … but I can also recognize that this difficult period only seems to last about a month or two. So, as there is a predictable down period there is also a predictable patter of duration for that period.
Until the colours and smells of the holidays sweep in the festive season.
And after that, the daylight will start to stretch longer across the hours.
With a bit of perspective, I know this period – although depressing – will pass.
Patience.
In accordance with a promise I made to myself, I’m going to allow myself to be more honest here. Good, bad AND ugly.
I’m lonely today. I have been for a while. Friends are comforting, but they can’t be there for you every moment of every day. And, I’m painfully aware of how inviting a declaration of loneliness is. Maybe it’s this change of season … of hiding under over-sized clothing … of coming home in the dark … of having no one waiting for you other than your dog.
I couldn’t bring myself to call my Mother this weekend, as per my usual routine. I didn’t want to start crying while on the line and to cause her worry. I know she already feels like there’s nothing she can do to help … without the complication of the distance between our two points.
I don’t think that I’m isolating, exactly. I do think that I’m keeping to myself.
Sometimes, when it gets it’s worst, I question whether being back home in Ottawa would make any difference. Probably not. Didn’t have many friends there – and I had lived there my entire life. Paid a lot less in rent and other expenses – but I only did that for 9 months before packing up and moving cross-country. My family is there – though, anytime I spend a significant amount of time with them all I want to do is get as far away from them as possible.
I wonder what I’m doing here. I find myself desperate for something so much simpler.
I have a headache – time to lie down.
~ This Town, Blue Rodeo
I hate the thought of censoring myself at all, but in all honesty, I engage in a lot of self censorship all the time.
I will continue to monitor the work-hits, but I can’t continue to hold myself back like this. I don’t like it. While I will never disclose everything to the world on this blog, there is an element of self-expression that this little corner of the Internet affords me … and to me, that is invaluable.
So, what have I been up to?
- Didn’t do anything for Halloween. Stayed in watching gorey movies borrowed from a friend. Was awoken in the wee hours of this morning and wrote an email to a friend: “It’s 3:33 am … oh wait, I guess that’s actually 2:33 am with the time change. It’s still very busy outside with drunken Halloween revelers. People have been screaming and setting off fireworks all night. Poor George is cowering underneath my bed and I don’t even have the energy to keep continuously reassuring him that it’s okay. I can hear police whistles and what I believe to be police dogs barking. THIS is the downside to living directly in downtown Vancouver. It’s often like this on ’special occasions’ down here. And this is just Halloween … it reaffirms my concerns that the Olympics are going to be insane and that I don’t want to be down here for that.
So, balanced perspective, I guess. While I do love living in downtown Vancouver, sometimes I do hate it, too.“ - I’ve been having a rather emotional last few days. I’m expending a lot of energy trying to fight off the bad feelings – or to at least acknowledge them, accept them, and then move ahead. I’ve had some really low- lows peppered with the occasional high-high. I know that a lot of this has a lot to do with perspective and I’m doing my best to calm myself and see through the anxiety to the reality. Reading about mindfulness and practicing the meditation. I’ve been hiding this side of myself as of late … I guess I’ve been going through a phase of shame surrounding my depression.
- I might be making a visit over to Vancouver Island soon. Victoria, to be exact. I have been a resident of British Columbia for 15 months and have yet to make it to the capital. Recently, a very good friend of mine from back East moved to Victoria. I’ve also recently made the acquaintance of someone who lives in the same city. So, the opportunity to see either of them would be very welcomed, in addition to getting to discover some more of my new province. The only catch is that George can’t come, which requires me to ask others to dog-sit so I can go off gallivanting. It is always very difficult for me to ask favours from others. Even though I know that I would do the same and much more for those others, I still don’t feel comfortable asking anything of them.
- I think my internal clock is broken. For some strange reason, it feels to me almost as if we sprung forward an hour rather than falling back one. I guess that just means I’ll be in bed even earlier than usual … and sleeping in later. I don’t think anything wrong can come from getting more sleep. Then again, under-sleeping has never been an issue for me as I tend toward over-sleeping.
So, I guess that’s about it. I’m fighting the compulsion to be the hare, when I need to focus on being the tortoise. Patience. A virtue which does not come naturally to me … but I’m practicing. I guess that’s the only way make any progress in this particular race I’m running.
If this is all too ‘emo’ for any of you reading, you might just want to look away. I imagine it’s going to get a lot more loopy before it gets less so. That’s kinda just me. You like me as I am, not how you’d like me to be. At least, that’s what I like to think.
~ A Simple Kind of Life, No Doubt
On the last day of each month I post the top 10 most played songs in my iTunes library. You know, because music means a lot to me … and also because it sort of keeps a record of the soundtrack to which I lived the previous month.
1. Until the End of the World – U2
2. Happiness is a Warm Gun – The Beatles
3. Have a Little Faith in Me – Van Morrison
4. She Will be Loved – Maroon 5
5. Wake Up – Arcade Fire
6. Everybody Knows – Rufus Wainwright (Leonard Cohen cover)
7. Your Ex-Lover is Dead – Stars
8. Try – Blue Rodeo
9. The Partisan – Leonard Cohen
10. No Line on the Horizon – U2
So, I happen to track the IP addresses that access this site. And, today, I happened to see that someone else at my workplace is viewing my blog. This happens to make me a little anxious. Yes, this hit could have been by accident … the first time. But, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that the return visits were direct.
Now, I don’t talk too often about my work here. I don’t think I’ve ever said exactly where I work, but if you know anything about Vancouver, you can likely guess. I’ve never disclosed my full name here. But, if you know my first name and recognize my face, you can figure out who I am.
All of this makes me very uncomfortable. I know it’s probably nothing sinister, but still, it’s awkward.
Is it time to pack things in, kids? What do you think?
~ No Line on the Horizon, U2
I decided that this week I would not allow myself to play ipod games on the busride into work. They’re incredibly addictive. I thought that keeping my eyes off my ipod screen would allow me to actually see what was going on in the world around me. To be present.
This morning, I watched a couple get on the bus. Picture, if you will, a young woman – obviously a student – getting on the bus with an insulated mug in one hand and a heavy bag on her back. There were no seats free, so she took her bag off her back and bent forward to place it on the floor between her feet. The gentleman (and I use that word in the sincerest sense) who was with her reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder while she did so, to steady her until she stood back upright and could grab ahold of a bracing bar. I mean, isn’t that the sweetest thing? That slight gesture? Something most of us would have missed?
Sigh.
~ Beautiful, Blue Rodeo
It has been just over 9 months since I wandered nervous and shy into Sears on Robson and came across a kind soul who helped this insecure person figure out how to wear make-up. Since then, uncharacteristic of me for my first 26 years, I have become comfortable doing myself up without feeling like a clown. And, I’ve been a pretty loyal Clinique customer. Until this past weekend.
I tried to save a couple bucks by buying another brand of face powder. I first picked up a compact at Shoppers Drug Mart by Almay, but after getting home and thinking about it, I concluded it would be too light … and returned it. Returning is an important highlight for me to make because, for whatever reason, in the past I would usually just accept the loss to avoid the embarrassment of having to admit making a mistake. My second attempt came after a visit to the Body Shop. I needed shampoo & conditioner (I used to buy Aveda Shampoo & Conditioner for almost $30 each but discovered Body Shop Shampoo & Conditioner which does just as good of a job with my wonky hair and for half the price) anyway, so I thought I would try their face powder. Not wanting to make another matching mistake, I asked for assistance to pick out a shade. But, when I powdered my face the following day, all I could see was ORANGE.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite that bad, but I’m pretty sensitive to ORANGE on my face. I grew up watching my mother paint foundation far too dark onto her face in an attempt to conceal her freckles. And, although I knew nothing about make-up myself, I knew that was a big boo-boo. Any indication of ORANGE would have been too much. But, I had opened and used the product … would I have to suck it up and accept the error?
I called the Body Shop at Pacific Centre this morning to ask … and it was no problem. I didn’t believe it. I was sure the woman hadn’t listened to what I explained on the phone. But, this afternoon, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn’t have to settle for a store credit; I got my cash back in my pocket.
… Which I promptly spent at Sears picking up my regular powder. Oh, and did I mention it was Clinique Bonus time? Not only did I end up getting my powder, which I know I like and is in the right shade, but I also left with a bag-full of fun little sample-sized products – some of which I already use, so will contribute to my existing supplies.
Yes, in the end I didn’t end up saving any cash – which was the goal of this two-times ill-fated attempt to find a less expensive alternative to my Clinique powder. But, here’s my point: pinching pennies is good, but there are some things on which you shouldn’t skimp. The important thing is to figure out where YOU are and are not willing to compromise in the name of saving cash. For me, face powder isn’t one of them. It might sound somewhat frivolous, but it’s worth it for me and does an awful lot for my self esteem to believe that the powder on my face conceals some of the flaws I see when I look at my reflection.
~ The Magic’s In The Make Up, No Doubt
